Scarred beyond healing

I remember the days, when I used to wonder why Goa never figured on the daily bulletin. Each state or even smaller cities used to hog limelight day-in and day-out. Probably, the only time Goa used to make news was the year end when all the party revelers used to head for Goan shores for the New Year bash. And occasionally the pack of jokers sitting in the assembly playing the toppling game used to do their bit to attract publicity.


But off late the scenario has been totally contrast. Goa have been the making the headlines on all the leading newspapers and gulping huge amount of air-time on every other media channel. The sad part is that, it’s in news for all the wrong reasons. Be in the RP 2011, or the instability in the government. Be it the law-makers turned law-breakers episode or the SEZ muddle. To top it all, the molestations of foreigners that has created unprecedented hype off late.

Thanks to all this, Goa has been loosing its reputation of being calm and serene that it always has been; and I strongly believe it still is to a large extent. So, why all these issue have become nemesis for Goans and projecting it in a bad light to the world media? For I believe (and I don’t even remotely want to be politically correct) the root cause is the influx. Not just the population influx; but even the cultural, social or ideological influx that Goa is been targeted with.

I wonder whether there exists a single soul on the planet who has seen the audience to the breathtaking scenery of Goa, and still escaped without getting captivated, fascinated by the nature’s bounties that it had to offer. But the very USP is proving to be the nemesis for the Goekars. The pleasant climate, add to it the fascinating countryside and pristine sea-shores, top it with the warmth that Goans are blessed with has made each tourists feel like making their short experience into a lifelong one. And for me this is the root-cause of all the ills that has been plaguing the fairyland of earth. One should realize one is subjected to warmth, courtesy when he acts like a guests; but when the same guests stays put then he no longer can expect the same treatment till eternity.


I fear sounding regionalist but Goa is Goa because of the Goans (I mean the natives “Goekars” and not the aliens who have immigrated and proud themselves in calling so); and it is bound to loose its sheen when the natives are outnumbered by the aliens. The few ills that I mentioned earlier are somehow or other related to the immigration muddle. Take the case of RP2011. Those involved were all game to chop the greens of Goa to make way for sprawling residential villas and malls. A very prominent example of such exploitation of mother earth has been the one on the Betim hill looking over the scenic view of the river Mandovi and ancient Portuguese architecture that dot the city of Panaji. Worse still it has been the project by a very famous industrial house which claims to do business by ethics. Just makes me wonder where they had shelved their ethics who committing such brutalities on this forest belt? All these apartments and facilities as everyone knows were exorbitantly priced and its left to no ones guess that there were targeted for clientele not within the subset of the world named Goa. It just amazes me as to how the parties involved in this project are up to kill to the golden egg laying hen for a one time gain.

The scarlet keeling (the name inspired the title of this blog) incident was yet another wound on the already beautiful but now bleeding face of Goa. The incident and the plight of the tourists are certainly condemnable but it has been hyped up way out of proportion. A couple of Goan names involved seem to have been marring the entire Goan population. The ones who are involved surely should be dealt with the tough arm of the law but they should not be allowed to spoil the Goan reputation. The Dutts, Roys and the Sardessais of the Indian media who have been hell bent of tarnishing us just to add up to their TRPs shouldn’t be let to do so. When they screamed in the over-inflated voice in some publicity-seeking chat shows regarding the unsafe nature of the Goan beaches or the rave parties; they should be asked as to how many Goans (and again I mean the native Goekars) would you find at this venues. I can safely bet my head on the fact that not even a tenth of the people found at the rave parties would be Goekars and those who are must be actually peddlers (and not party revelers) who should be given the short end of the stick. Same is true with the beaches too. The silver shores have been such an everyday thing for the locals that I wonder as to how many of them actually get indulged in getting themselves tanned, sun-baked on the sands (spare the local fisherman for their tryst with the sea and the shore will be on till eternity).


Goans are notorious for their laid-back attitude and the tag “sushegaad” does get prefixed to our names at birth. But each of us have proven it that when it comes to assaulting our motherland, we shall spring into action at the blink of the eye. The government was brought to their heels the last time the Goekars upped their ante against the land sharks involved in the regional plan. It wasn’t a one time wonder as people had done it in the past during the Nylon 66 issue and more recently the SEZ saga; and we won’t be showing any qualms in repeating many more times if some perils try to strike our motherland. A little warning to end this… Mess with Goans, and you will end in a mess.

Back it up

35 til’ I fly…(Sing in the tune of 18 til I die)

I didn't wanna fail in my college life
whenever I did - answered twice and thrice
still the results were out screaming to retry
Its gotta be 35 til I fly - 35 til I fly

can't fail forever that's wishful thinkin'
I always knew that when I was flunkin'
don't wanna cram up; cheats! I don't wanna try
I just score less as marks fly by

35 til I fly - gotta get 35 til I fly
it never feels good, I just feel shy
someday I'll be 35 goin' on 55! - 35 til I fly

anyway - I just wanna say
why bother about the backs of yesterday
it's not my fault, I studied every minute
if ya wanna clear, go get cheats in it - 35 til I fly

a 'lil cheats of this - a 'lil cheats of that
'lil cheats of everything - gotta get on track
it's not wat ya gulped, it's what ya pucked outside
just don't care when - don't need to know why

35 til I pass - gonna be 35 til I fly
ya it sure feels good to be alive
someday I'll be 35 goin' on 55! - 35 til I fly
ya there's one thing for sure - I'm sure gonna try

don't worry 'bout the future - forget about the past

gonna have a back - ya we're gonna have a blast
gonna make it fast - 35 til I fly


Ameya Ajinkya Mardolkar
(compiled after being bombarded with backs in 4th sem)

D-day at the D-street

“Hammered” is what they call a scrip which had been beaten down at the bourses. And hammered I am for I am holding such fallen angels by the dozen.

I had the intent to get my hands dirty in the equity market since quiet long. But somehow I was just procrastinating over that thought for ages; may be it was the dearth of liquid in my purse that was delaying my grand entry. And finally one fine day the day dawned when I said to myself “come what may, I am going to invest in the markets and I am going to invest it now”. So after juggling between many brokerages firms and after being receiving end of numerous seemingly tantalizing marketing calls, I zeroed on a broker. Wasn’t the cheapest of the lot but then I being a novice in here, I wanted someone to hold my hand and teach me to how to walk. So, I thought of shelling out the extra buck to pick the friendly neighborhood guy over the rest of the pack.

After the arduous procedure of filling the form and millions of signatures (which should not differ much from the others), there I was; ready for it. Though at his moment I don’t seem to remember my feelings then. Was I feeling like a knight in the silver armor all set for the conquest or was it a feeling of a scapegoat who is shortly going to get butchered?

Having let my impatience rein over prudence and entering the markets when it was soaring at previously unseen and unrealistic levels; the plight I find myself in today (after the market crash) was not entirely unexpected. You don’t require to have knowledge of rocket science to foresee the imminent correction was in the offing. Probably my greed for instant appreciation of my investments had blinded me to a point when I could not see the crystal clear writing on the walls.

Its not that the markets let only the pain come my way. I had my share of sunny days before that inevitable happened. I had very decent ROI and was quiet content with the picks I took. And the way the bulls were running berserk, I like many other fellow equity-investors were laughing my way to the bank; unfortunately not literally (How I wish now, I should have actually liquidated my positions and stayed in cash L). Like a pig in the farmyard that overindulges in feed, I held onto my investment even after a substantial movement in the hope that the investment will provide even greater gains. The bull-run was on and the investors were minting money as if there was no tomorrow. All this euphoria let the human trait of greed ooze out of me, and I started dabbling into intraday day trades on margin funding by the broker (It means I use the money from the broker to buy equities and get to keep the profits on selling the same within the stipulated day). I had made huge positions in virtual nondescripts, worst so on borrowed money. To add to it, I also had my interest placed in the big “R” scrips which I knew didn’t exist in flesh and blood. The aura or should I say the angelic halo that the “R” scrips had in the market was too big to ignore. As luck would have it, even it didn’t elude me and I too fell for these paper demons. By the time it was on, Indian markets were gone (pun intended).


And finally the D-day dawned… and as Murphy would like to have it, it struck me in the worst manner. The inevitable had just happened but more so it happened in the most ruthless manner. The markets had crashed in such a drastic manner that it broke all the circuits set; the trades had to be called off and the investors could not sell their holdings. When markets reopened the scene was not much different, the herd instinct was prevailing and panic selling had set in. And as all this happened I was enjoying my day on a tour which I had set out on totally oblivious of the fact that my fortunes were dwindling at an alarming rate.

The phone rang and a beautiful voice from the other end just added to the already merry time I was having. But that wasn’t to last long as she dropped a bombshell onto me about the impending payment I am to make. I committed to her on the payment date still far fetched from the reality about the blood bath at the D-street. Hurriedly I called my broker and a bolt from blue struck me. I wish somebody should have recorded the transition in my facial expression then, it surely must have been a sight to watch. All my scrips had taken a pounding, the least were those for whom the circuit limits were set but even in those it meant I was stuck as I could not sell them off. Needless to say my fun-time at the tour had come to an end.

The very angelic broker who till very recently was nonchalantly tipping me on some never before heard of companies was suddenly turned into a recovery demon hell bent on getting his due recovered. I don’t blame it on them for that he is doing the job he is being paid for, but it was my decision and rather a stupid one to indulge into markets in such a way. The final result was that I had to wash my hands of few blue-chips that I was holding so I to pay off for the rest. With the beers still persisting, all I can do is seat and watch my portfolio slide into darker shades of red.

Bruised and battered after all this meltdown, I still seem to come out smiling for I am learned a lot many things, and learned them the hard way. I remembered I had read somewhere “Never invest something over which you will loose you sleep” and I am glad I did follow that religiously. I had leveraged my position in some seemingly more stable investments instruments and thanks to that am not feeling insomniac as yet. More so, I still believe in the India growth story and know for sure that someday I will recover all the money I invested for that it’s not any ill-gotten wealth that I had staked at the bourses.

There are tons of rags-to-riches stories that were drafted at the D-street and there exists equal probability of finding bankruptcy cases there. What probably differentiates both is a very thin line of prudence+ greed+ fear. “Every cloud has a silver lining” they say, and for me this silver lining is a too much a compelling reason to stay put. So here I am, here for a long haul and I am not running away from this mystical place. For that the Indian equivalent of Warren buffet hasn’t yet emerged on stage and who knows it may very well be ……… yes, you guessed it right!


- The Oracle of Goa. :)

Ek Akela Is Sheher Mein.....

I know one thing for sure. I am certainly an alien in this industry. Somehow the industry doesn’t belong to me and equally true is the other way round. But, still I am here, knee deep in this shit… motionless, unaware of the fact that I am sinking more and more in much deeper mess.

With each passing day, I am sure it is not going to get any easier for me to get out of it; but there I am totally 404 as to what do I do?

Tete-a-tete with my close pals convinced me that, I am not the only one who find oneself in such a plight. There might be many more like me who might choose to tag themselves "destiny's favourite weeping child". I just wonder as to how the others have still managed to be away from the feeling of being “dilberted” by our seagull manager. And I then take solace that it might just be a matter of time before each of us start showing signs of Dorito Syndrome.

But whats this all about? It was started with the fairly decent scored I secured in my HSSC exam. The quiet a decent student I was; I had almost lived up to my personal expectations. And after 4 long years of bearing the bull that was thrown at us, I ended up or rather I somehow stumbled at the doorstep of this hynotisizing IT world.

But now that I am here, at this place which I once sought; I feel lost. I get the experience of being in no man’s land; when I find myself stuck between the two species; neither of which can associate myself with; On one side the “Alpha geeks” coding their way to mortality and the on the other “Masters of Assmosis” decoding the way to immortality.

“Make hay when the sun shines” they say and so did all of us; but now that the clouds of burgeoning rupee tend to eclipse the sun; it’s just matter of time the chainsaw consultant comes knocking to our doors. The Elvis years of the IT boom are long over; its to everyone’s wonder as to when they will get a additional feminine slip along with their monthly one.

Even if we manage to skip being rewarded with a pink slip; still there seemingly exists no pathway which would lead us out of the cube-farm into that elusive corner office; A place that has eluded me till now from where you can look down to other fellow techies prarie-dogging most of the time in their day; or at best ego-surfing their way into mortality.

Somehow, I have resigned to the fact that, there exists no ladder for me in here. Only way I might possibly rise in here is by standing on someone else (read sub-ordinates) shoulders; but even human pyramid too have serious limitations. All and all I foresee myself rotting at echelons closer to ground.

More often than once, I hear a voice call me out "Seek what your heart desires. Go for it!"; I turn around to see a vaccum. Is this what they say "the inner voice"?
Well, may be and I choose to believe that it indeed is my "inner calling".
So, what is holding me back? How I wish I had a definitive answer to it. But I believe I am being a bit more paranoiac than one in my place should afford to be.

Just hoping for the day when my brew of aspirations, vision, self belief will score over my apprehensions. Hope that day dawns very soon. Ameen!