I know one thing for sure. I am certainly an alien in this industry. Somehow the industry doesn’t belong to me and equally true is the other way round. But, still I am here, knee deep in this shit… motionless, unaware of the fact that I am sinking more and more in much deeper mess.
With each passing day, I am sure it is not going to get any easier for me to get out of it; but there I am totally 404 as to what do I do?
Tete-a-tete with my close pals convinced me that, I am not the only one who find oneself in such a plight. There might be many more like me who might choose to tag themselves "destiny's favourite weeping child". I just wonder as to how the others have still managed to be away from the feeling of being “dilberted” by our seagull manager. And I then take solace that it might just be a matter of time before each of us start showing signs of Dorito Syndrome.
But whats this all about? It was started with the fairly decent scored I secured in my HSSC exam. The quiet a decent student I was; I had almost lived up to my personal expectations. And after 4 long years of bearing the bull that was thrown at us, I ended up or rather I somehow stumbled at the doorstep of this hynotisizing IT world.
But now that I am here, at this place which I once sought; I feel lost. I get the experience of being in no man’s land; when I find myself stuck between the two species; neither of which can associate myself with; On one side the “Alpha geeks” coding their way to mortality and the on the other “Masters of Assmosis” decoding the way to immortality.
“Make hay when the sun shines” they say and so did all of us; but now that the clouds of burgeoning rupee tend to eclipse the sun; it’s just matter of time the chainsaw consultant comes knocking to our doors. The Elvis years of the IT boom are long over; its to everyone’s wonder as to when they will get a additional feminine slip along with their monthly one.
Even if we manage to skip being rewarded with a pink slip; still there seemingly exists no pathway which would lead us out of the cube-farm into that elusive corner office; A place that has eluded me till now from where you can look down to other fellow techies prarie-dogging most of the time in their day; or at best ego-surfing their way into mortality.
Somehow, I have resigned to the fact that, there exists no ladder for me in here. Only way I might possibly rise in here is by standing on someone else (read sub-ordinates) shoulders; but even human pyramid too have serious limitations. All and all I foresee myself rotting at echelons closer to ground.
More often than once, I hear a voice call me out "Seek what your heart desires. Go for it!"; I turn around to see a vaccum. Is this what they say "the inner voice"?
Well, may be and I choose to believe that it indeed is my "inner calling".
So, what is holding me back? How I wish I had a definitive answer to it. But I believe I am being a bit more paranoiac than one in my place should afford to be.
Just hoping for the day when my brew of aspirations, vision, self belief will score over my apprehensions. Hope that day dawns very soon. Ameen!
With each passing day, I am sure it is not going to get any easier for me to get out of it; but there I am totally 404 as to what do I do?
Tete-a-tete with my close pals convinced me that, I am not the only one who find oneself in such a plight. There might be many more like me who might choose to tag themselves "destiny's favourite weeping child". I just wonder as to how the others have still managed to be away from the feeling of being “dilberted” by our seagull manager. And I then take solace that it might just be a matter of time before each of us start showing signs of Dorito Syndrome.
But whats this all about? It was started with the fairly decent scored I secured in my HSSC exam. The quiet a decent student I was; I had almost lived up to my personal expectations. And after 4 long years of bearing the bull that was thrown at us, I ended up or rather I somehow stumbled at the doorstep of this hynotisizing IT world.
But now that I am here, at this place which I once sought; I feel lost. I get the experience of being in no man’s land; when I find myself stuck between the two species; neither of which can associate myself with; On one side the “Alpha geeks” coding their way to mortality and the on the other “Masters of Assmosis” decoding the way to immortality.
“Make hay when the sun shines” they say and so did all of us; but now that the clouds of burgeoning rupee tend to eclipse the sun; it’s just matter of time the chainsaw consultant comes knocking to our doors. The Elvis years of the IT boom are long over; its to everyone’s wonder as to when they will get a additional feminine slip along with their monthly one.
Even if we manage to skip being rewarded with a pink slip; still there seemingly exists no pathway which would lead us out of the cube-farm into that elusive corner office; A place that has eluded me till now from where you can look down to other fellow techies prarie-dogging most of the time in their day; or at best ego-surfing their way into mortality.
Somehow, I have resigned to the fact that, there exists no ladder for me in here. Only way I might possibly rise in here is by standing on someone else (read sub-ordinates) shoulders; but even human pyramid too have serious limitations. All and all I foresee myself rotting at echelons closer to ground.
More often than once, I hear a voice call me out "Seek what your heart desires. Go for it!"; I turn around to see a vaccum. Is this what they say "the inner voice"?
Well, may be and I choose to believe that it indeed is my "inner calling".
So, what is holding me back? How I wish I had a definitive answer to it. But I believe I am being a bit more paranoiac than one in my place should afford to be.
Just hoping for the day when my brew of aspirations, vision, self belief will score over my apprehensions. Hope that day dawns very soon. Ameen!
1 comment:
AMEN!! :)
A well articulated matter I must say.
If neither "Alpha geek" nor "Master of Assmosis" excites you, then you can seriously consider writing as an alternative career.
And, for now, if it is any consolation -"zindagaani ke is safar mein tu akela hi nahi hain
ham bhi tere hamsafar hain" - (courtesy Shree 420)
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